Have you ever wondered why you always run away from a serious relationship? The truth is you are not alone. Even though a person may want to commit to a relationship he or she may find it difficult for various reasons. Now while it may be okay to have some fears, sometimes fear can hold you back from important things in life, even the love of your life. Here are some of the top reasons why people are afraid of committing in a relationship.
1. Fear of being vulnerable
Usually being in a relationship on an online dating site may require you to open up to your partner about some things that you may want to keep secret. Also just telling about how much you care or love someone can make you feel vulnerable. This alone can scare you from committing to one person, even if you want to be in a serious relationship. To avoid opening up to someone, you may decide to stay away from online dating.
2. Having high expectations
It is only natural to want a perfect relationship with the perfect person. The stories in novels and TV shows have inspired many to want a fairytale love story. Some people don’t want to commit because of the fear that they may not get to be with a perfect partner or fear that things may not work out.
3. Not being in a rush
Sometimes single men and women may feel as though they have all the time in the world. After all, they are young and in no rush to have a serious relationship. Saying this is just an excuse to run away from a person who wants to commit.
4. Feeling you will lose your freedom
Freedom is one of the best feelings ever. You don’t have to report to anyone and you can hook up with local singles on a dating site whenever you want. Some people find it hard to give up on certain aspects of freedom that come with having a single status. For some a relationship just takes away the freedom they have, leaving them feeling oppressed.
5. Holding on to the past
The fear of the past repeating itself can be paralyzing. For some people, the best way to avoid another heartbreak is to stay away from dating completely both offline and on an online dating service. The fear that someone will break their heart again prompts them to avoid long-term relationships.
6. Chasing “better” things
Sometimes singles may feel like there is just too much going on in their lives to focus on a relationship. Commitment requires a lot of work and this means putting in time. You may be tied up in your studies or work that demands a lot of time making it hard to find a woman who is interested in a long-term relationship. At this point, online dating on a dating service may seem like a distraction.
7. You love the chase
Some singles love the feeling of being wanted by so many single men or women. For such an individual, a serious relationship may be difficult because it means no more attention from other admirers. Not having enough attention from others may be unexciting for such individuals.
8. Fear of rejection
The fear of rejection can hold you back from many things. Once a person has been rejected once or twice he or she may try to avoid any event or opportunity that will lead to the same result. When you show someone you want to commit and he or she let you down, you may not be willing to have a serious relationship.
9. Fear of responsibility
Many millennials are scared of being in monogamous relationships because they associate such relationships with responsibility. One may see commitment as an obligation. Some just want to stay single and avoid any obligations that come with serious relationships.
10. Financial instability
Finances play such a huge role in your dating life. Because commitment means being able to take care of your partner, you may shy away from any engagement because you don’t feel financially stable or can’t make financial decisions with a partner.
How to identify if you are scared of commitment
The first step to overcome a problem is to accept that there is something wrong that needs to be changed. Some ways that you can identify that you are scared of committing in a relationship include:
- You have trouble committing to one person
- You feel like you lose your freedom when you are committed to one person
- You are insecure because of past disappointments from failed relationships
- You end your relationships for the smallest reasons
- You try to pull out of a relationship as soon as things get too serious
- You prefer the physical aspect of a relationship than the emotional part